Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Tommorrow will be better
Today was not a productive day. One of the many problems of being unemployed for an extended period of time is finding the motivation to do anything at all. No matter how much work I do in a day I will still be just as poor at the end of the month. I am usually pretty good at forcing myself to get stuff done for its own sake. The knowledge that if I do not write about things like Stalin's deportations that nobody else will keeps me from giving up completely. It seems like a moral obligation to counter the likes of Mark Tauger or just simple ignorance. I was kind of surprised last month when I discovered how few people knew about Stalin's ethnic cleansing of the Kalmyks. The total lack of any material incentives that comes with chronic unemployment, however, militates against doing anything at all. After all in such situations time is a limitless commodity. Things can always be done tommorrow and the economic consequences are exactly the same, nada. Today I never got my brain to get out of "manana" mode. Tommorrow I need to remind myself of the various non-material benefits being productive will bring me. I hate losing days because I did not have the discipline to work without financial compensation. By the way for any academics who hate their jobs I am willing to do all your work for $20,000 a year. Which by my standards is an incredible fortune. You can keep the remainder of your salary and all the benefits.